Are We Living for Applause?

We build our lives for applause, only to find the loudest cheers aren't for who we truly are.

What if the very path we believe leads to success is, in fact, leading us further away from ourselves? What if the life we're building is one designed not for our own fulfillment, but for the applause of others? I don’t see these as merely abstract ponderings but reflections that are currently shaping my experience. Over the better part of the year, I have found myself in a significant transition, actively choosing to break away from molds and templates I've followed for years — a lifetime, almost. And while this shift often feels profoundly freeing, a deep sense of relief settling over me, there's still a part of me - that old, familiar voice - that quietly contemplates: "Are you sure you're making the right decision?"

I'm sure you can recall times where you deviated from your wants and desires, led by the greater concern of how others would perceive you. Perhaps it was in what you wore, meticulously choosing brands not for comfort, but for the subtle nod of approval. Or maybe it was selecting a major in college, not out of genuine curiosity, but because it would elevate your profile among friends and family, painting a picture of "success."

The unfortunate truth is that, eventually, the applause becomes redundant. The fleeting feelings that once came with recognition and validation no longer quell the deep inner discontent. The cheers fade, the spotlight dims, and in the end, if you wait long enough, I believe, you will be the only one left standing on that stage — waiting for that final applause that will never come. You'll be left with a stark question…”would I even clap for myself?”

It's time to step off that stage, not in defeat, but in a deliberate act of courage. This isn't a space of easy answers, but a crucial turning inward. I share these thoughts with the hope that they resonate with others embarking on similar transitions, wrestling with their own questions and doubts. For those who perhaps haven't yet considered that they might be living for the applause of others rather than their own fulfillment, I hope this can serve as a subtle call to introspection.

It's a strange psychological landscape, this space where the exhilaration of new beginnings collides with the ghosts of old expectations. There’s that persistent whisper of doubt, that ingrained thought of "what will people think?". We don't always realize how deeply we've become entangled in the identity others hold of us, or the one we've painstakingly crafted for them. It’s like wearing a well-tailored suit that no longer fits, but we keep it on because it's what everyone expects. And honestly? There's a mischievous part of me that finds this impending shift exciting, almost a bit of a shocker for those who’ve grown accustomed to my "old self". This period of intense, often uncomfortable, self-reflection has revealed just how close that little egoic voice remains, always a whisper away, ready to lure us back to the familiar, the "safe", and ultimately detour us from our authentic path. In the past that voice often succeeded for me. And while I look back with nothing but admiration for that version of myself – a driven, ambitious, hardworking person who achieved much – I've come to a personal truth: the trade-off cost of that path is simply no longer worth it. For me, there's more to life, more to explore, and a growing conviction that not everything of value has to come with such a heavy price and that one does not need external proof of their worth.

Perhaps you've felt it too, this compelling urge to imagine how others see us, to step into their shoes and scrutinize ourselves through their imagined lens. We often make the subtle error of believing that others perceive us accurately, when in reality, it's usually through the clouded filter of our own judgments and insecurities. While there might be kernels of truth in what others think, we rarely pause to fact-check ourselves, to wonder if we're merely self-projecting our deepest fears onto them. We externalize what is ultimately, a false reality, and if we internalize that in return, we become tragically bound to living out and trying to perfect our own insecurities, fears, and self-doubts. These are not truly "other people's" thoughts about us. They are simply the vehicle for us to work through what already resides within. After all, isn't it often the voice in our own head that's already saying those critical things?

This, I've come to understand, is our ego at play, operating from a place of perceived weakness, not genuine strength. We allow ourselves to be seduced by the allure of a prestigious job title, the perfectly manicured lawn, the "right" address, or the carefully curated social circle/social media following. We allow ourselves to be lured by the impressive car in the driveway, the trendy clothes on our backs, the perfect vacation photos posted online, the meticulously organized home, or the seemingly effortless ability to keep up with the latest trends. We find ourselves making sacrifices and concessions for things we don't genuinely want or even enjoy, all because we've crafted a compelling narrative for ourselves, convincing us that it's the "smart" move, the "responsible" choice. And sometimes, in our pursuit of what we believe others want for us, or from us, we're simply choosing a new mask to wear, one that feels more socially acceptable, but is no closer to our true face (Self).

Think of the internal monologues that play on repeat: "It'll only be for a short while." "Imagine the financial security!". This is how we conjure a phantom pressure, a fear that if we don't take the "opportunity", say the "right" thing, or make the "expected" relocation, we're sabotaging our future. We tell ourselves that countless others would "kill to be in our shoes", and that it would be foolish, even ungrateful, to deviate from the perceived script. We might even convince ourselves that people will judge us, deem us unintelligent, or see us as failures if we follow a different drum. Perhaps you've experienced finding yourself among friends or colleagues who don't truly understand your deepest self, or with whom genuine connection feels elusive, yet you persist for the sake of some ultimate, abstract goal.

This is where a different question emerges: how much control are we willingly handing over to the fleeting opinions of others? Are we truly thinking about the person who lives our life, day in and day out? Because it is us who wakes up in that house, us who goes to that job, us who shares a life with that partner. It isn't them. Shouldn't our focus be on how we genuinely enjoy our day, our lifestyle, our quiet moments? Rather than fixating on how that job title, or the perceived financial freedom it offers, will ultimately make us feel, we might consider this: deep, deep down, what we are often truly searching for are core human feelings – safety, security, belonging, oneness, calm, and inner peace. And so often, we get profoundly confused about how to actually attain them. We reach for external symbols, mistakenly believing they will fill an internal void.

It begs the question: If you stripped away the recognition, the accolades, if it truly never mattered what anyone else thought, would you still desire/do that thing? Would you still chase that particular job? That house? That expensive car, or the upgrade to your wardrobe? Would you still choose to date that person? Who, at the deepest level, are we truly doing this for?

That insistent voice inside, the one whispering anxieties and urging caution, often believes it's trying to make us feel safe, to feel secure, to calm the ever-present anxious energy in our bodies. But it’s a paradoxical pursuit of safety, isn't it? We model our lives after the highlight reels of others, those carefully curated glimpses of perfection. We see their flawless Instagram moments – never the fake smile before they hit record, never the quiet struggles within their relationships, or the breakdowns after work – and we’re left comparing ourselves, convinced we need more: a better life, a better partner, a better job, a better house, nicer clothes. We’re striving to fit in, to find our place, but in a way that often only makes us feel more lost and alone. What kind of freedom is that? Have we even paused to deeply ask ourselves what kind of freedom we're genuinely seeking? So often, we fixate on financial freedom, yet we overlook the self-made cages we willingly walk into for its sake.

So much of our finite life slips away, moment by precious moment. Moments we will never reclaim. We can't unwind the clock, can't become younger. But what we can do I believe, is make more conscious choices. For me, my twenties felt like an intensely ego-driven journey, a chase after everything that seemed so overtly desirable on the surface. There was, as I reflect now, no clear compass for building oneself internally. I wonder if others feel this same internal shift as they transition from their twenties or thirties, a natural reorientation of priorities, a questioning of prior assumptions. Or perhaps some remain in their thirties/fourties, outwardly convinced their life is perfectly aligned, while that little inner voice quietly begs to be heard, only to be silenced, gaslit by their own denial. Will those people ever truly wake up to this deeper reality? Will they realize they aren't as in control as they believe, that the voice dictating so many of their moves isn't their authentic self, but a programmed response to external expectation?

This is why, in my personal journey, I find myself deeply reflecting on this truth: I am none of those things—not my job, not my title, not my possessions, nor the expectations placed upon me. These are roles, experiences, but they are not my essence. This is the profound re-centering I return to as I embark on this new chapter. It's a call to turn inward, to start asking the uncomfortable questions. Because if you’re reading this and that quiet question begins to stir – Am I being driven by my ego? Am I truly doing what I want to do? – know that you’re not alone. The path to finding your own answers, to truly knowing yourself, lies in cultivating self-trust. It’s a journey of reclamation, and in my experience, it begins with small, deliberate steps.

Consider starting by listening to the subtle signals your body gives you – the tension in your shoulders, the lightness in your chest, the authentic pull towards one thing, the undeniable drain from another. What truly energizes you, and what leaves you feeling depleted? Practice making small, low-stakes choices based purely on your own preference, even if it feels insignificant to others. Learn to say no the moment your body or intuition tells you to. These tiny acts of alignment are like building blocks, strengthening that often-neglected muscle of self-trust, helping you distinguish your authentic voice from the clamor of external expectations.

The true cost of living for applause isn’t just fleeting moments. In my view, it’s the quiet erosion of the very self you were meant to become. But the beautiful truth that gives me immense hope is that the blueprint for your own freedom lies within. It’s waiting for you to simply ask, to listen, and to dare to trust the quiet, unwavering knowing of your own soul.

Countering Complacency is about recognizing the subtle drift in an unlived life, challenging the question “is this all there is?” and reclaiming your vibrant self buried beneath expectations. It's an ongoing journey of awakening and authenticity. If you liked this, let me know below. Every bit of your support means a lot!